13 Weeks

How big is the baby? The size of peaches. YUM! I love my grandma’s peach pie!!

Symptoms: Still tired after a long day at work, tooting, and some feeling like I am going throw up.  Also, a minor headache.

Total Weight Loss/Gain: I don’t know.  I refuse to buy a scale.  My OCD couldn’t handle it.

Maternity Clothes: Net yet, I can still wear all my normal cloths.  I do wear a belly band but that is more out of comfort after lunch.

Sleep: Usually to bed by 9:00-9:30 PM and get up once to pee.

Best Moment This Week: Spending time with family we do not normally see and watching them congratulate Ben and warn him about what will come.

Gender: Not yet! L  But people have convinced me it is a girl. 

Movement: Nope

Food Craving/Aversionss: Not really.  No true aversions either.

What I miss: Jimmy John’s VITO sub.  I figure it contains all the lunch meat I am not allowed to have.

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to my pregnant belly (instead of a belly looking like I ate too many donuts) and feeling the baby.

Other happenings in Kellyland:

·         I must start studying for my final CPA exam!  I must start studying for my final CPA exam!!  I must start studying for my final CPA exam!!!

·         The pool is getting relined hopefully next week!  I waited to long to call the pool people!  It is suppose to be 90s this weekend and I have no pool to cool off in!  Plus, I figure it will be a great way to exercise!  So the nurses do not yell at me for not getting 30 minutes of exercise daily!

I stole borrowed the listing from Jules!  Thank you!

Benny's Birthday!!!

Sometimes I feel like all I do is complain on my blog... therefore, todays post is going to be a happy post!

Today, is my husband's birthday!!!  He has to work so I wont see him at all today but that is ok.  We can celebrate this weekend.  Especially since it is a 3 day weekend for both of us!

Ben was a blind date (at least he didn't know who I was).  He was a first date after a horrible relationship, then he turned into my college sweetheart and now my husband.  We dated a long time (like years) before moving into anything serious.  He gave me the space to figure out who I am and who I want to be while remaining faithful and loyal (and lets be real in this day and age and faithful person is hard to find).  He has never tried to mold me into someone I am not.  He lets me be me.  I love him so much for this.  I have seen friends with controlling significant others and it makes me appreciate Ben even more.

He has been supportive throughout the whole infertility.  He never put any pressure on me and told me we will do what I am ready to do and when I am ready to do it.  He listens to my craziness when the hormones are in overdrive from whatever fertility meds we were using. 

He is supportive on my pursuit to become a CPA.   Besides a comment every now and then about my hair in the drain, he never says anything about the housework slacking off because I am studying or now because I have no energy. 

He is my rock.  I love him so.  Happy Birthday Baby!

Another nephew

Today, I am an Aunt yet again.  We are not up to 4 nephews and 3 nieces. 

Ben’s brother’s wife had their son today.  I should be overjoyed!  However, it just reminded me of hitting rock bottom.  See I found out about this pregnancy through Facebook.   (See this blog for further details.)  This pregnancy shook me to the core.  Luckily, we do not live near them so I wasn’t force to put on a happy face.  However, I still, even though we are finally pregnant with our own, have resentment towards his wife for her Facebook announcement. 

I hope that I will not treat this nephew differently than the rest.  I hope that I will love him as much as the others.  I hope I will be able to get over this hurt, resentment, etc.

It has not helped that I have been bomb-barded with baby pictures all day today.   Can’t wait to go home and go to bed and start tomorrow with a fresh attitude!

12 Weeks 1 Day

I missed my weekly update for 12 weeks yesterday.  So here goes: 12 Weeks 1 day!

·         This past week was rough.  I didn’t feel good at all.  I was tired and constantly felt like I was fighting back vomiting.  Sometimes I wonder if this mind over matter approach with vomiting is worth it.

·         The thing I miss currently is brushing my teeth.  Don’t get me wrong I am brushing my teeth but it is short and quick so I don’t throw up.   Prior to being pregnant, brushing my teeth wasn’t always fun.  I would make myself gag at least twice every brushing.  Now gagging means vomiting and brushing my teeth all over again.  It’s a vicious cycle!  I just want a good clean scrubbing of my teeth.   Hopefully, soon.

·         My belly has definitely not popped yet.  However, it does look like I have eaten a couple boxes of donuts all by myself.  I use a belly band from time to time but that is mostly to keep comfortable after lunch. 

·         This week I have been fighting off headaches.  It is weird.  I feel a headache from time to time but it isn’t any big deal unless I bend over.  At that point my head throbs.  I am trying to stay hydrated and avoid taking any medicine for the headaches.

·         The poison ivy!!!  I am on day 3 of the meds.  So far I still itch.  It isn’t all the time or nearly as strong so hopefully the meds are working!   Everyone seems to be getting a kick out me getting poison ivy after doing nothing but sitting on the couch for the last 6 weeks.  Oh, well!

·         I am still going to bed at 9-9:30.  I toss and turn a little through out the night but for the most part I am comfortable.  I am doing my best to sleep on my left side.  I have read that it is better for the flow blood and nutrients to the baby. 

·         Our friend has already decided when we are having our baby shower.  It cracks me up!  Since we are transplants in the area we live in, most of our friends are through Ben’s work.  It will be a couples’ shower in October after the guys switch to having weekends off.   It should be interesting!

·         I can only hope that my energy level picks up again soon.  I have to start studying for my final exam in July!!  I can’t wait to have the CPA over with!  And, then I can put my full concentration on Baby!

Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!

I had developed a rash this past week that drove me insane from all the itchiness!  It is crazy itchy!  I was itchy constantly.  I have no will power when it comes to scratching and itch relief.  It would feel so good to scratch!  Ben got sick of watching me scratch when he finally made me call my doctor.  

I do not like being that crazy lady that flips out at every little change and calls the doctor.  I felt fine/normal first trimester fine.  My mother’s intuition felt fine.  Until Ben worried me by making me call the doctor.  Then Dr. Google and I found every rash that possible cause a miscarriage.   I was nervous.  I think it made my nauseated state worse.

At my doctor’s appointment today, the nurse couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat.  That freaked me out a little.  Eventually, she said she heard it and the heartbeat was 163.  I never heard it.  She said it was very faint.  Then before she left she gave me a card with my blood type and other information she said in case I ever need to go to the ER.  What?  Lady!  First, I never heard this faint heartbeat!  Then you give me an ‘in case’ I go to the ER card!  Thanks!

Then I was left in the room to ponder this while I wait for the doctor.  I decided that she would not have legally  been able to tell me there was a heartbeat unless she really heard it.  I calmed down some.  Then when the doctor finally came in he did not seem concern by it.  I feel fine now. 

Back to the itchiness!  With one look of my rash the doctor said it was poison ivy!  What?  I haven’t been hiking nor doing anything besides sitting on the couch the last few weeks.  How the heck could I have gotten poison ivy?  The doctor prescribed some meds and off I went.

When I called Ben, he just started laughing.  We decided I either got it from contact with his cloths doing the laundry or the dogs have gotten into and then cuddle me!

I am happy to say that the baby and I are doing fine but I did feel silly going to the doctors all concerned about a poison ivy rash!  All is good and that is what I am focusing on that and doing my best not to scratch!

11 Weeks - I lost the war today

·         Yes, I lost the war against morning sickness.  My mind was not strong enough to fit it this morning.   However, for the first time ever I was able to vomit and rally back.  I am feeling ok today.  But I do have my saltine crackers and ginger ale with me this morning!

·         This week has been rougher than last week.  I have been ridiculously tired.  I had a fairly busy weekend… staying up late both Saturday and Sunday.  When I say late, I mean 11:00 PM!  I have been going to bed 9:00-9:30PM the last few weeks.  I have tried naps but they haven’t seemed to help. 

·         We had our first appointment with our normal doctor on Monday.  I was disappointed that we did not have an ultrasound but we did get to hear the baby’s heartbeat.  It always scares me when they first put the Doppler on and I do not instantly hear the heartbeat.  It always seems like it takes forever before they find the little guy/gal!  Then I have a huge since of relief. 

·         I do not seem to know where I belong.  We have struggled with infertility for 3 years and now after our first IVF we are finally pregnant.  But I do not feel like I belong in the new pregnant bellies group nor do I feel like I am in the infertility group.   I know infertility will always be apart of me but I feel uncomfortable posting about our growing belly or other pregnancy issues when most of my online friends are still in the trenches battling infertility.  I do not want my blog to upset anyone. 

·         Overwhelmed – This week I am also feeling very overwhelmed by this whole pregnancy thing.  I have doubts that maybe we struggled with infertility because I truly wasn’t ready for a baby.  What happens if I am still not ready this journey?  It was adjustment for me to realize that I was now someone’s wife and what that meant.  What about now?  I am going to be someone’s mom. 

10 Weeks

·       I have made it to 10 weeks pregnant!!  I am no longer taking the progesterone suppositories!  Hallelujah!!   They have not been that bad… but I am hoping I finally get to feel ‘clean’ down there.  Also, I am hoping the constant itching down there goes away too!

·    I get waves of nausea but I have been able to control it with eating small meals often and mind over matter.  I hate vomiting (I mean really who does like it?) so I am doing my best to control the urge.

·    I absolutely, no questions asked, have pregnancy fatigue.  I do not want to do anything.  I do not want to see anyone.  I am perfectly content being a hermit in my home.  However, the hubby is not impressed.  He is supportive but makes me go do things with him.  Which I am glad he is getting me out of the house.  Otherwise I would be completely worthless!

·    My clothes are still fitting but sometimes after I eat I unbutton my pants because it is uncomfortable where they hit my belly.   I am going to purchase a belly ban sometime soon.

·    I have decided to postpone my final CPA exam until July.  There is just no way I can study enough to pass for May.  Like I said, I do not want to do anything.  I have no ambition.  I need to find some though.  I need to start studying.  Yuck!

·    Pretty much all of our family and close friends know by now.  It wasn’t our intention but most knew something was up anyways.  But we have not made any public announcement yet.  I have been debating about the Facebook announcement.  If I even want to make the announcement at all… just show up 9 months from know with a little baby in all of our pictures! Haha.  If I make the announcement, I want to leave it open that someone in the IF community would get that we had troubles but I do not want to go out and say that we used IVF.  

Understand, I am not ashamed of using IVF.  I think it is/was an amazing opportunity for us and I will advocate it to anyone and everyone that asks.  However, I just do not want our IVF process to be Facebook official.  Not everyone in our family knows/understands the IVF process.  I do not want to get in religious debates on Facebook about IVF.  I just want to let others know in the IF community that I have been there and I can be resource.    Any suggestions on how to or not post something on Facebook?