I am thinking I am ready to have another child. I have been thinking about for awhile but my first
major clue was disappointment when I got my last period. Ben and I are not actively trying but we are
not preventing either. My cycle is back to its regular 36 day
cycle. I have symptoms of ovulation but
I am not temping or doing ovulation predictor kits. I have promised myself and Ben that I wouldn’t
let it take over my life like before.
Financially, it would be best to wait a little while
longer. Ben and I both have raises on
the horizon; mine hopefully within a month and Ben’s in 6-12 months. I also want to take 12 weeks FMLA like I did
with Ava. It will take time to build my
leave balances back up to make that 12 weeks paid FMLA. I do have s/t disability but it isn’t much to
count on. Also, I do not have the money in our FSA to
help pay for the FET like I did with IVF.
Another issue for I am thinking is Ben’s family beach
vacation is in summer 2015. I do not
want to take a baby less than 3 months nor do I want to be 8 months pregnant
riding 10 hours to the beach. Which
basically means I need to be prego by the end of May otherwise we will be on
hiatus until Septemberish. I do not want
to miss the vacation and it isn’t because it is a vacation but it is the time
spent only with Ben’s family and it is awesome family bonding time plan and
simple. Ava will be interacting with all
her cousins by then and it means the world to us.
I also do not want significant age differences between my
children. I understand financially it is
better but my brother and I are 5.5 years apart and Ben is almost 3.5, 5.5
years older than his sister & brother, respectively. I understand that close in age does not
necessarily mean close/best friends but I know I learned a lot more than I
should have at an early age and I do not want that for my child.
Also, I am scared about having 2 children. Honestly, there are days where just Ava is
hard and she is a good baby. Continuing
with our ‘normal’ schedule, I would be home by myself with a newborn and a 2
year old. Will I be able to handle it?
Plus, how will a new baby affect our relationship with
Ava? She is the center of our universe
and knows it! I do not want to miss out
on major milestones with her because I am too groggy/busy with the other
child.
How did you make the decision to have your second child?
How did you know your family was ready? What variables did you consider? Did you
decide to try it own your own – naturally for awhile? How long did you give yourself naturally
before deciding to do treatments again? Did it matter if you were able to do
FET?
I can't answer most of your questions, but I can reassure you that your concerns are very VERY common. I also worry that with two I am not giving enough to each at any given time, and that I won't get a chance to make up for it later since they are the same age and growing so fast. When you're a parent, this is a constant problem -- trying to balance time with each child. But I assure you that you can do it and your kids won't have any lasting issues with it. I mean, think about it. Do YOU remember your parents giving you more or less attention before the age of 4 or 5?? Me neither. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jules! I was hoping you would comment about having twins/dividing time btwn 2 babies.
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