This post is apart of Pailbloggers monthly theme – birth stories!
How did the birth experience of your child affect your parenting of this child?
I first started typing that I didn’t think it affected me as much as it did my husband but then a flood gate open and I realized it affected my parenting a lot. I had the run of the mill hospital birth with Ava with some placenta complications. Basically, the placenta broke apart causing me to loss a lot of blood fast. I was coming in and out from either the blood loss or the meds they were giving me but I remember thinking: 1) I just had this great vaginal birth and now I am going to have to go to the OR (the doctor was asking if the OR was available.) and 2) Ben is going to be a great dad. I was watching him with Ava while they were working on me and he was the most gently, loving, caring father.
I think I realized at that moment they would survive without me and Ben would be great taking care of her. I do think I listen to his feelings when it comes to parenting more than I would have. I realize the teamwork with parenting vs. my way or the highway.
How did the birth/adoption experience affect your future plans? Would you do it all again the exact same way? Change things? Decide to not have more children?
If we have more children I would like to try Hypnobabies. There are a couple of bloggers that I know that loved it. I would definitely like to try. My goal for Ava’s birth was make it 4-5 cms without drugs and I achieved the goal. Next time (hopefully), I would like to deliver without drugs at all.
Last time I was induced and I would definitely like to have that ‘your water broke’ excitement at home vs. at the hospital when they did it for me.
What sticks out in your birth/adoption experience that you still carry with you? (good or bad)
I had a great doctor. I love him. He was very calming and soothing during the whole process from failed IUIs to sending me to a RE to throughout my pregnancy to the birth.
Have you felt “judged” about your birth(adoption) experience, and has that affected your parenting or future plans?
I have never felt judged for my birth experience…now breastfeeding, yes but that is for another day. I do think Ben might struggle with hypnobabies and laboring longer at home but he will adjust if he has to.
Overall, I had a good experience. I went into it blank. I didn’t really have a birth plan but I never felt pressured one way or the other from the nurses/doctor. I know the doctor felt strongly about not letting me go past 40 weeks due to IVF and knowing the exact conception date. I was fine with this. It made sense to me. Rather it is right or wrong it worked for me. The most important thing to me is that Ava is here and healthy and so am I.