Similar Schedules for the First Time Ever!

For the past 8 years, Ben and I have been on different schedules.  My schedule is your normal Monday through Friday 8 – 5.  Ben’s schedule has always been second shift (4pm-2am) and his days off changed every 3 months.   After having Ava he decided he wanted to go to day shift (7am-5pm) so he could be home more with her.  He applied for day shift in January but due to seniority he did not get it.   Until now…

On Monday, he received a phone call from his lieutenant asked him if he wanted day shift starting next week.  Ben said yes.  So starting next week Ben will be working day shift! 

I should be super excited right?!?!?!  Well I was indifferent about it at first.   Ben and I have never spent 7 days with each other on a routine basis since ever in our relationship.  We went to different colleges.  He moved home, I moved to Baltimore.  He moved to Kentucky and 8 months later I moved to Kentucky.  From that point on we have lived together but again have always been on different schedules.  I am use to have 4 nights of the week to myself to do whatever I want.  Granted sometimes I truly missed him those 4 nights but overall I enjoy my Kelly time.

The idea of Ben being home nightly has grown on me.  I will have a little free time to grocery shop by myself or maybe even if I dare a movie with some girlfriends!  I know those two will still be hard to accomplish but I will have more opportunity!  It will also be great to have Ben home during the spring and tornado season.  Last night, we were under a tornado warning and here I am trying to wrangle 4 dogs and keep Ava asleep at 11:15 at night.  I managed but it will be so much easy to split the duties.

Overall, I am nervous and very excited to have Ben home every night.  Hopefully, we as a family adjust to it well!

Valentine

Our valentine got us purple boots!!

Favorites

I decided to do a little post about a few of my favorite loves since it is almost Valentine’s Day. 

A few of my favorite loves:

1.      The smell when Ben first opens the door after getting out of the shower. Hmmm…

2.      Listening to Ben and Ava do anything together.  Specifically, I love listening to him over the monitor reading books or playing or giggling or etc.

3.      Ava’s “I-am-so-happy-to-see-you-mommy” face when I pick her up from daycare.

4.      The sense of hope that our FET transfer will work. 

5.      Snuggles with our doggies

6.      A nice juicy steak with a baked sweet potato and a glass of red wine.

7.      Music – lately Tom Petty and Eric Church.

8.      Reading for pleasure where I stay up most of the night because I just can’t put the book down.

9.      Nice long naps.

10.  My little family, our big family, and our friend family.

 What are some of your favorite loves?

Here we go again! FET#1 Schedule

After much contemplating on my part, Ben and I decided to do FET this March.  I thought I had decided not too just because it is smarter financially and professionally to wait until next year but I was never settled with that decision.  I brought it up yet again to Ben and he said lets go for it.  I made the call that day and I felt very comfortable about my decision.  I kept waiting for a wave of regret to come and it never did.  Now, I do have heavy shoulders about the procedure.  Specifically, how many do we transfer, what are we going to do if it doesn’t work, etc.? 

Here is My protocol:

Step 1 – Birth Control Pills for a month.  I have started January 27^th and will continue taking BCP until February 22^nd.  So far I feel like the pills have just made me weepy.  But maybe it is the gray skies and snowy weather keeping me homebound last month and I just have some major cabin fever!

Step 2 – When I start my next period I will start using Minivelle patches.  I start with 1 patch and work my way up to 4 patches.  I will decrease back to 2 patches prior to the transfer and will continue the patches until my period or 10 weeks pregnant. 

Step 3 – Transfer day will be either March 17 – 18^th.   I will start my antibiotics and Prometrium suppositories.  I will continue Prometrium until my period or 10 weeks pregnant.  I used the prometrium last time too.   Even though I never felt quite clean using the suppositories, I am so glad it isn’t the progesterone shots that I hear horror stories about. 

There will be a total of three appointments not including bloodwork/pregnancy scans. 

Appt 1 – Tuesday this week I met with our RE for a sonohsterogram (SHG).  Per the clinic’s website, SHG involves injecting sterile saline through the cervix into the uterus and then the RE uses good ole Mr. Wandy to make sure the saline flows into the uterus without any problem.  I cramped a little during the procedure but it went well and there was no blockage or other issues. 

Appt 2 – It will 12-14 days into my next cycle.  They will check my lining and make sure all is ago for the transfer.

Appt 3 – As mentioned above the transfer day is March 17^th-18^th.  Either day works for me.  I will have to miss a part of work but it is what it is.  I will either have to wear green for St. Patty’s day (3/17) or Duke blue for my brothers birthday (3/18).

It seems completely weird to be in this process again.  Ben and I are still discussing how many to transfer.  We have 3 snow babies.   We both agree not to transfer all 3.  Ben says transfer 2.  I go back and forth between transferring 2 and having a better odds of pregnancy and transferring 1 and still having 2 for backup. 

It feel so odd, yet strangely familiar, to be back in this process again. 

Horrible Wife

I have been a horrible wife this week.  In all seriousness, I do not know why I was in a funk but man was I in a funk.  Ben does so much around the house that I do not give him credit for doing.  Yesterday, he mopped our very dirty floors, cleaned the gunk out of the shower, salted the driveway, and emptied the dishwasher.  What did I do? Complained that he didn't fill the dishwasher!  I know- huge bitch!  

He never complains about my lack of cleaning, never complains about anything really and yet I go off on stupid dishes.  I do not deserve him.  

I get so overwhelmed/tired of the daily grind.  I let it catch up and get me.  I do not get a break from things but neither does Ben.  Besides helping around the house some, he also feeds/waters the birds/cows and it is 0 degrees out right now.  

Anyways, I need to find a way to make this up to Ben.  Any suggestions? 

When do you know your ready again?

I am thinking I am ready to have another child.  I have been thinking about for awhile but my first major clue was disappointment when I got my last period.  Ben and I are not actively trying but we are not preventing either.    My cycle is back to its regular 36 day cycle.  I have symptoms of ovulation but I am not temping or doing ovulation predictor kits.  I have promised myself and Ben that I wouldn’t let it take over my life like before.  

Financially, it would be best to wait a little while longer.  Ben and I both have raises on the horizon; mine hopefully within a month and Ben’s in 6-12 months.  I also want to take 12 weeks FMLA like I did with Ava.  It will take time to build my leave balances back up to make that 12 weeks paid FMLA.  I do have s/t disability but it isn’t much to count on.   Also, I do not have the money in our FSA to help pay for the FET like I did with IVF.  

Another issue for I am thinking is Ben’s family beach vacation is in summer 2015.  I do not want to take a baby less than 3 months nor do I want to be 8 months pregnant riding 10 hours to the beach.  Which basically means I need to be prego by the end of May otherwise we will be on hiatus until Septemberish.  I do not want to miss the vacation and it isn’t because it is a vacation but it is the time spent only with Ben’s family and it is awesome family bonding time plan and simple.  Ava will be interacting with all her cousins by then and it means the world to us.  

I also do not want significant age differences between my children.  I understand financially it is better but my brother and I are 5.5 years apart and Ben is almost 3.5, 5.5 years older than his sister & brother, respectively.  I understand that close in age does not necessarily mean close/best friends but I know I learned a lot more than I should have at an early age and I do not want that for my child. 

Also, I am scared about having 2 children.  Honestly, there are days where just Ava is hard and she is a good baby.  Continuing with our ‘normal’ schedule, I would be home by myself with a newborn and a 2 year old.  Will I be able to handle it?  

Plus, how will a new baby affect our relationship with Ava?  She is the center of our universe and knows it!  I do not want to miss out on major milestones with her because I am too groggy/busy with the other child.  

How did you make the decision to have your second child? How did you know your family was ready? What variables did you consider?  Did you decide to try it own your own – naturally for awhile?  How long did you give yourself naturally before deciding to do treatments again? Did it matter if you were able to do FET? 

Catching up - Ava's Birthday!!!

I am sorry I haven’t been around lately.  I have been checking my usual blogs but have not been posting.  It has been crazy busy in Kellyland.  Between Ava turning 1 on Thanksgiving Day, my parents visiting, holiday parties, Ben’s family visiting, and the normal stuff, I have just been swamped.  I have a lot of things I want to post and catch everyone up on from Ava’s 1^st birthday to the holidays and reflections.

I am starting with the most important! Ava is 1 years old!  I cannot believe it.  She is turning into the sweetest little girl.   She loves being outside even though it is way too cold out right now.  She loves her doggies, monkeys, books, and her Daddy.  She is 28 inches and just shy of 20lbs.  She is walking all over and has been since about 11 months.  She is starting to gain speed with her walking. 

She is talking more and more.  She can say Dada, Hi, Momma, doggie, and I swear she knows the dogs names.  She signs all done but I haven’t truly worked on other things like eat and milk.  Her voice is so soft and dainty most of the time but then she can go on this jabber fest and talk and talk and talk.  It is hilarious.  Sometimes if she is a little mad, I swear she is telling Ben and me off.  Something to look forward to in 10+ years?!?!

What I am proud of the most of our parenting so far is that we did Baby Led Weaning with Ava.  She eats anything and everything.  I was a little nervous before we started and the poor girl gagged on cooked carrots once and we haven’t had carrots since.  But when she got the hang of it, it made everything so much easier and fun.  Does she make a mess? Yes, but that is why we have 4 dogs! 

What I am still struggling/failing with is napping.  Due to different schedules, I still put Ava to sleep for her naps.   She sleeps all night without a problem.  Our night time routine is perfected: bath, book (currently Brown Bear Brown Bear), prayer, kiss on the forehead and into her crib.  She is usually asleep within 10 minutes and sleeps 11 -12 hrs.  But napping is a whole another issue.  With Ben’s schedule completely different then us, I can’t let Ava fuss it out in her bedroom without waking Ben up.  On Saturdays, he works from 2pm to 8am Sunday morning.  He needs his sleep so I put Ava to sleep before putting her to bed.  I know it probably isn’t good and in the long run I am just hurting myself but I do not know what else to do?  Sleep is a whole another blog later though. 



We are truly blessed with our little person.  She is the perfect combination of both Dada and Momma.  Until next time, have a happy and stay warm!